What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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