Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
