the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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