please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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