so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
