Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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