Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
