Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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