There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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