escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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