Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
