hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
