The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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