Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
