You work out of a Hotel?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
This is my gift to your gina
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
