She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize