No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
