That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We talked him into tasing himself.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
