Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
