i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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