found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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