If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I supernannyed him into submission
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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