i think i scared a bird with my dick
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
There's always time for handjobs
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
