trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
