Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize