drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
