This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My balls are so social today.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
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