I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
