you traded sex for a burrito?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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