At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
