how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
