fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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