dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
