what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
