I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
