if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
