Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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