you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
