I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
