We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
