lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You just made me feel so damn special
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
