he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
