got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
