We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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