Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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