I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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