honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
