I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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