my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
