So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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