Where are you?
In a non slutty way
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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