none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
