god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
