Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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