Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
