i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize