But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
