he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
