Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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