Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
