She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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