I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
