so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
so much tequila, so little girl.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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