It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
