kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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