i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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