Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
