Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
