She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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